There are no posts yet, Mandy! Do you hear me? None! Imagine an icy wind howling through a desolate grove of dead trees, Mandy! Are you picturing it? Can you hear the bone-chilling wailing of the wind? Perhaps a few gnarled branches being scraped across the ruined walls of an abandoned castle? A castle in a really bad part of Newark, New Jersey?

That emptiness is NOTHING compared to the emptiness of this page, Mandy! No posts, no profile, nothing. Void and darkness and nothingness! Plus, I'm eating Fruit on the Bottom yogurt, and there's no fruit at the bottom, Mandy-- it's just this pureed mush. What, if I hit a lump I'm supposed to think it's a blueberry? Fucking Dannon!